Matthew's Blog

Seasons greetings to all! It's that time of year again, get out the tree, the tacky tinsel, some shit decorations you/your siblings made when you were in primary school, invite old relatives of whom you weren't entirely sure existed round. You all sit round the table to eat what is probably the most stressful roast anyone has ever made - I mean, it is literally just a roast with Turkey and sprouts, I sincerely don't get all the fucking cookery shows about it, but whatever. Watch a shit tonne of TV, those Christmas specials, if you haven't seen Gavin and Stacey Xmas Special, you have never truly experienced a proper Christmas. Anyway I want this to be about what Christmas means to me, as an atheist, and what it should mean to you.

Many people will sprout shit like, 'oh you aren't a Christian so why are you celebrating Christmas?' Well, in the same way that people no longer associate Halloween with soul cakes and a celebration of cleansing the soul, the meaning of Christmas is no longer about Baby Jesus - at least it is definitely getting that way - and his birth. (Evidence suggests he was actually born in April, but yno, as per religion - a bit sketchy with the details.) Christmas is now about family.

I recently read a piece by Ricky Gervais about what Christmas meant to him. It was very emotional and drew upon remembering his mother, father and other loved one's who are no longer with us. I am lucky enough to have never experienced anyone who is close to me, dying. So whilst I cannot say that this is what Christmas about for me, on a personal level anyway, I believe it is what it should be about in general. Christmas ought to be about being grateful for the people around us. For family, friends and for humanity as a whole. We should be brought together with who are with us, initially with our family on Christmas day and our friends throughout the whole Christmas period. Throughout the whole year, it is very easy to forget those that matter. To discard people who are annoying or who perhaps forget to get in touch over an extended period of time. However, Christmas should be about forgetting what has come before and focusing on what is important now.

Within my belief system, we only have one life. After this, nothing will come after. Absolutely nothing. And so, we ought to make use of the time we do have. There isn't time to be petty and to hate for shit and unknown reasons. Let Christmas be a time where we can thank everyone for their contributions, however small, to our lives. I am a massive prick the majority of the year, but I'd like to think I am appreciative of those people who are in my life. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

To end, I leave you with a quote:

"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savoured."

Merry Christmas.

I'm about to start my next year at university. In about 3 weeks I'm also going to turn twenty. Yes, twenty. I am no longer a teenager and I am struggling to put into words how sad this makes me. Enjoy your teens it's shit from then, or so I hear. Anyway, this post isn't about my age related problems as we'd be here for a while if it was. This is about the stuff I've learnt during my so far short lifetime. I'd like to think someone, somewhere will read this and think, shit I was about to do that but now I'm going to rethink what I'm doing. Here go's...

1) Being popular doesn't matter. I can't possibly describe how true this is. You might have a hundred thousand friends but do they actually give a shit about you. No. Some might, most won't. It's impossible to please all the people all the time, so just don't bother. I could go on and on about this but there's a more full explanation in another post so you should read that.

2) Get what you want. Don't wait around hoping that the stuff you really want will come to you. Yeah, sometimes it does and that's just damn lucky. That is not how the world works, you can't just sit there and expect stuff to fall on your lap. If you want something, go and get it. I try and live with no regrets, if there's something I want I work hard to go and get it. Be that, a person or a job or anything really. You shouldn't just sit around and mope about shit. I've done that, it's not cool and it doesn't get you anywhere. You feel worse, a lot worse. And, even if you go out wanting something, you get it and it turns out that thing isn't actually all that great, at least you can say, well yeah it might not have been the right thing for me but at least I tried. I think it's important to be a man of your word. If you say something, back that shit up with actions. Actions speak louder than words and all that!

3) Sleeping around isn't cool. Not cool. Not even a little bit. If I was talking to a girl and she turned out to be some massive slut then I'm no longer attracted to her. Simple as fuck. I'm not impressed by your ability to bed a lot of males. Not even remotely impressed. This works for guys too, bedding many women is a massive turn off - like it needs saying but there you are.

4) Grades aren't everything, but they sure as fuck help. No one wants to be stuck on the dole forever, achieving absolutely nothing. Even the idiots that do that, secretly they have some sort of ambition or something they want to achieve. Do stuff, even if you aren't academic, it is still important to strive towards something no matter how small or trivial it may seem to other people, have something to aim at.

I could probably go on and on, but I won't. Do stuff, be happy. Don't have regrets, respect people who respect you. Give a lot and receive much more.

When i was in school and more so in college, I used to think it was important to have lots of friends and to surround yourself with people who 'cared' about you. I won't go all preachy and say that I've grown up and I'm past all that as I'm still only 19 but I can't see the appeal anymore. People get you down, everyone has experienced it. You can't say you haven't. Updating so many people on what's happened in your life, every issue etc. it's a lot of hassle, no? Who has time for people flipping out if you don't happen to tell them one aspect of what has happened to you? I know I don't. Well not anymore, but I can look back in hindsight and realise that what I was doing was fairly stupid. You have to look back and think, did these people who I told all my problems to, really give even a slight shit about what you were going through? I can almost guarantee that the answer will be no. 

However, that's not to say that I don't have friends now or that I don't appreciate what I used to have. I just don't have time for all the drama that comes with it. We're constantly learning, growing and changing. All the time, every single day. I've lost a lot of friends that I had in college, some are just mere acquaintances now, some I don't even speak to anymore. But shit happens and I can't help that. Some people I didn't even want to fall out with but it just happens because that's what life does. Everything changes and you should definitely appreciate those people who are you in your life right now, but don't assume that they'll be there forever as they won't. 

I currently have quite a close knit amount of friends, I don't trust easily and few people are privy to the whole story. I've found it's best this way, it works for me. You need to find what works for you, maybe you need the constant attention and to always have plans, and yes I might spend a lot of time alone but that doesn't mean im lonely. I like my life, it works for me. And you need to find the same equilibrium. 

The main question is: when are you going to get rid of your dead weight?

Tonight is my university's Christmas Ball. It's rare that I have to 'dress up' so to speak. The last time was probably my high school prom! So yeah, being at university and so far from home, I didn't bother bringing a suit or anything with me.

So on Monday, I spent my afternoon attempting to find something to wear. This was no easy task. I made the extremely dubious decision to go to Primark in the hope that I could find a cheap dickie bow. Man, that was a bad decision. That shop is hell. Like actual, hell on earth. Should the apocalypse finally come, we're all going to have to queue outside  the Oxford Street Primark, whilst the store fills up to maximum capacity, and then some, and be forced to spend five minutes in there. Now, I want to make it clear that I'm not slagging off Primark, which pretty much fails in everything you want in a shop, but yno, different story. (Could technically be classed as slagging off, but oh well.) In the end they didn't have a dickie bow and I went to Next. - just if you're interested.

BUT FUCK ME, how do you ladies cope with such a place? Some guys too, but it's my god it's fucking awful. The shop, the disorganisation, just blah, everything. This is why online shopping is win. Anyway, university is extremely good. You should go, if you aren't already. Make sure you pick something interesting, cause you'll hate it otherwise. I'm in lectures 8 hours a week and I get a fair amount of reading too. But living in London is amazing. Totally and utterly amazing. Beats my seaside home, that's for sure.

Anyway, this concludes my blog for today, shall post with the events of the ball and the Little Comets gig I am attending on Friday. Thanks for reading, etc etc.

So, it's been a hell of a long time since I've updated this and for that I am sincerely sorry. I shall use this post to update everyone on what I've done over the last few months, I'll try and keep it short but hey who knows how long it'll turn out to be. I'll probably skim over some key events as they'll be turned into their own blog entries, but hopefully you'll get an idea of how hectic my life has been... Or perhaps not so hectic and just my laziness, we'll see.

I had exams in may or June, I can't really remember to be honest with you. Despite my disastrously low attendance in history, my exams went ok. I ended up getting ABCD (Religious Studies, History, Politics, General Studies; in that order) unfortunately, or fortunately as I now see it, I didn't get in to either my first or second choice through UCAS. I went through clearing and got a place at Heythrop College London, most people won't know where or what that is. Basically it's a specialist philosophy, I do Philosophy, Religion and Ethics, and theology college of the University of London. This isn't bad going considering the, now retired, Peter Vardy used to teach and was Vice Principle there. So yeah, I live in London now. More on that in another paragraph though.

I'm extremely happy with where I am and it goes to show that even if things don't always go to plan or how theyre 'supposed' to go, it can still work out for the best. I never in a million years thought I'd be living in the big smoke, riding tubes, tutting at tourists as they stare aimlessly at their tube maps, but here I am. And I can honestly say, I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else. I've met some really incredible people whilst being here, from my flat mates to people only course and all the others inbetween. That isn't to say that I don't miss Blackpool, well I suppose I don't miss the place, the people I do miss. Family, friends, etc. But still, I'm enjoying it down here.

The thing I love most about the place is that there is always something to do. If you had the energy you could go out every single night, to a new club/bar/comedy event or gig. There's literally so much going on. Yes, I have shamelessly done the touristy things, Buckingham Palace, Houses of Parliament etc. I also think I fit in quite well down here, I'm usually quite cold and unfriendly which kind of suits London as a place. Coming from the north where people are always prepared to speak to you, it's quite surreal to move to a place where everyone minds their own business and gets on with their own things.

As I previously said, I've done the touristy stuff, I've also been to clubs that overlook Leicester Square, the London Eye and Big Ben. It is very strange. I saw a Q&A session with Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle, I saw ED SHEERAN(!!!!!!!!) live, Wretch 32, Ethan Ash, as well as a whole bunch of other stuff too. (Ethan also recognised me in a bar we were seeing him in, yes I felt like a celeb, but I don't like to brag ) I've bumped into: Zayn from One Direction(so I'm told); Angela Rippon; Harry Hill; Jack Wilshere and Alex Song. It's extremely strange to be walking down Kensington High Street and for these celebrities to just walk past you!

Anyway, I think this concludes my welcome back, update on my life, kind of post. I'll make a better effort than previous to update and I'll hopefully stick too it. My future blog posts will probably be less about what has happened and more on ideas but I'll probably mix it up a little bit too.

Matt.

This is my first post for almost a month, maybe a little longer. I apologise for this as I have been quite busy with work/college/real life things. Therefore, this will most likely be very rusty and not up to my usual standard! Hereeeeeee goes...

We're the dominant race on our planet. To quote the Bible, 'let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth,' and from this, we have power. Some people have more power than others; Monarchies, Political leaders, Teachers.. etc etc. These are people who are given power, you are told to respect them through a carrot and stick approach. However, there are those who are given power regardless of stature. Sometimes, they are defined as being natural leaders. There's always one of these in a friendship group, that one person who makes decisions, who's made to decide what happens when, times to meet etc etc. These are the people who can crush you or make you socially sound.

And that's exactly the problem. Is it their right to decide who you are? To decide where we 'must' go? What we 'must' do? Be original do what you wanna do.

There's shit loads wrong with lots of people. Jealousy, unreliablity, anger problems... etc! This leads some people to go 'ohhhh i hate people omg i wanna be alone' BLAH BLAH BLAH. Boring. This isn't true. You wouldn't be whinging like a little bitch if you didn't think that someone was bothered about you. You don't want to be alone. No one does. No one in the whole world wants to be completely left alone. We surround ourselves with friends, family etc. for a reason. We need them. Plain and simple. Maybe if its just for a chat everyone now and again. But we need people, we can't get by on our own.

So, whilst being original and doing what you want to do is important - remembering i'm a big believer in personal happiness as number 1 - sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want to do in order to please others. You can't get through on your own. Losing a little in order to gain a lot is vital. It needs to be done.

Everyone is always doing stuff. Making decisions, some big, some small. All have effects and some kind of reasoning behind them. How do you decide when someone is genuinally being nice or if they've got a hidden motive? People are always saying 'ooooh guys are so sly they've all got hidden agenda's and just want to trick you into bed.' Not true. Not all guys anyway, there are obviously some though that do this. If you're stupid enough to get tricked then hell, quit bitching and learn how to read people better.

Hidden intentions are everywhere. Every single action has some kind of motive behind it. Is it for the benefit of yourself? Perhaps it is for others. Maybe its neither. Who knows?

People've gotta learn when to recognise what people's intentions are. Some are genuinally oblivious to what people are doing, they don't get that people aren't being nice for the sake of being nice and that actually, in the case of many, they just wanna get in your pants. It's fairly obvious to some of us, who they are and what they want. Some of us got these talents!

Very few people are nice for just being nice. Being nice takes effort, why use effort with little to no return? This makes being nice only occur when something else is desired. This doesn't apply to all people, but the majority, it definately does.

Sly and sneaky people are all around, keep your eyes peeled.

Everything I have done has felt like the right thing to do at the time. That doesn't mean everything has been the right decision or that I don't make mistakes, i'm still human. Some things I might have done differently but on the whole, I regret none of my decisions. You can't look back in hindsight and say 'if only... I would have done this...'

Sometimes some stuff turns out bad. Such is life. Do things that make you happpy even if you end up pissing off some people.

'Your life is determined by the things you do, not what you feel or think. Its in your actions that you will be remembered. Do things that please you.'

No point in living a life you aren't happy with. Go out and change it. Be pro-active.

I don't usually talk about liking people openly so this may be a little rugged and a bit, shit really. But bare with me!

People are always spitting shit about how they love someone they're with. In MY opinion, I have never heard so much bullshit in all of my life. Most of you are like 15 years old, been 'going out' for around 6 weeks and have probably already cheated on them 5 times down the park on a friday. This ain't love this is bullshit. Let's move on to something more cheery...

I'm a realist. In every single sense of the word, there isn't no such thing as soul mates or 'the one'. Some people are better suited together, yeah, but there is not one single person out there that is perfect for you. What cruel bastard made that up? Talk about putting a shitter on everyone's day. In a world full of 6 billion people, you have around 70 years to find your 'soul mate', seems a bit harsh tbh. So yeah, soul mates = load of shit. I'm not being cynical either but really, does this make any kind of logical sense to you? It may sound cute but honestly, when you think about it, it's rubbish. Complete rubbish.

Anyway, lets be more specific. If you genuinally have someone that you like, and they say they like you back, you ought to do everything you can to hold onto that. Opportunities don't come around so often, so when you've found someone I suggest you stick to them like glue. Petty arguments just aint worth it. Also, the grass always seems greener on the other side. Always. When someone else comes along and you think they're better than what you've already got - look at them, take a long hard look, this is probably untrue. If they're willing to break up a relationship to be with you, then who is to say they aren't going to break up your relationship to be with someone else?

Sex isn't that much of a big deal. Chances are, you weren't getting it before, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you need to be at it like rabbits 24/7. Good things come to those who wait. Too many people just sleep around, those same people are always those that say 'I wish I hadn't done it'. In this instance, you should listen to them. Sleeping around aint attractive, not at all, no guy genuinally thinks, 'hey shes slept with 80 people - what a turn on'.

Sex shouldn't be used as weapon. Love is thrown around too easily. You probably can't do better than what you've already done. Waiting is definately worth it.

Many people are of the belief, that happiness ought to be a fundamental happen stance in our existence. This is not correct. Yes, happiness is a right of everyone's however, it is you who make this happiness. The things you do, what you experience, who you associate yourself with, these are the things which determine how happy you are and how happy you could be. It is not my fault, or anyone but yourselves fault that you are lacking in happiness.

You may say, "But X person said Y thing to me and it made me sad." Then you should ignore it. Some people are just hell bent on watching the world burn, usually due to their own meagre existence. If it is a friend who has said Y thing then, they are clearly not worth having as friend at all. People are too quick to sign their allegiances to certain people. A lot of the time, they don't realise that the person they are doing this for, would definately not do it for you. All in all, you should make your own happiness. People who get you down are not worth your time. Despite how much you may like/want them you just gotta let go. If they don't have time for you, then what logic is there in having time for them. 

Things you experience determine happiness levels as well. Its no good having shit loads of money and then not doing anything with it. You may as well not have it should you keep it rotting away in a bank account.  That is not to say,  you should just go and blow it on loads of clothes, DVDs or music. These are short term happiness boosts. They may make you happy momentarily but eventually, the clothes won't fit, the DVD won't work and the music is outdated. So, I propose that you spend money, or don't if you can get around it, on experiences that last. Stuff that'll stay with you for aeons. Memories are vital. Experiences make you happy, going to see something, idk. Whatever floats your boat! 
People are too quick to sit and whine about how they're sad and their life is not worth living. Is it really? Is it honestly that bad? Has something so quintessential to your life gone SO wrong that you're now permanently depressed? I highly doubt it. Obviously there are those who have, but these are few and far between. And, for the majority, they're just whining about some shit that no one gives a fuck about. 

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln.